Talent Show of the Marooned
by PippinBoyd
Summary: Due to boredom, Hurley decides to host a talent show of and for the castaways.
1. Default Chapter

A/N

All right, this is kind of random. It's my first Lost fic, so be gentle.

It takes place in pre-Claire kidnapping times.

"Dude, is it just me, or is this island really, really boring?" Hurley asked, sitting on a log next to Charlie, who was quietly strumming his bass.

"'Fraid so, mate. Nothing to do but count mangos or get eaten," Charlie replied, putting his bass down and preparing for a conversation.

"We should like…do something," Hurley said ever so eloquently. Charlie slowly nodded. They had been entertaining themselves with the golf course, but one can only hit a little ball across a field so many times before it gets a bit dull.

"Well, we could go see a film. Except this whole…island thing," Charlie said, throwing his arms into the air and motioning to their surroundings.

"Hey, dude, do you take requests?" Hurley asked, picking up Charlie's bass. Charlie, a look of panic coming across his face, quickly grabbed his bass from Hurley, holding it like his first born child.

"I…maybe. What exactly do you have in mind?"

"Um…aw, dude!" Hurley said, standing quickly and looking excited.

"What?"

"Let's like…get everyone together, and you can play, and we can see if someone could sing, or like do something-"

"You mean have like a talent show?"

"Yeah! I'll go get everyone!" With that, Hurley was off. Charlie sat, smiling and shaking his head. Clearly the boredom had begun to rattle some brains. But Hurley loved to keep busy. He was currently running to the caves. The first person he came upon was Jack.

"Hey, Jack, be at the beach in like, ten minutes, k?"

"What's this about, Hurley?" Jack asked, wondering who he would have to bandage next. "Is everyone alright?"

"Don't be so paranoid, man. Just go."

Next he found Kate and Sawyer, both looking through some unclaimed luggage.

"Guys, give the bags a rest. Go down to the beach."

"What is it?" Kate asked, looking at the baggage, crestfallen.

"Everyone's gonna be there, dude, come on."

"Hell's bells, did you run all the way up here just to tell us about some little party you're throwing? I don't know if anyone told you, but we're on a God damned island. There ain't no streamers or pointy hats, and definitely no buffet table, sorry to disappoint," Sawyer said, throwing an empty bag at the ground.

"Fine, don't go," Hurley said, but knowing that Sawyer could never resist a chance to piss a group of people off collectively. Hurley continued on through the woods, coming to Boone and Shannon.

"Beach…go…" Hurley said, leaning against a tree, out of breath.

"What's the matter?" Boone demanded, standing. Shannon rolled her eyes.

"Nothing…we're gonna chill…" Hurley managed to squeak, starting back towards the beach. On the way, he found Locke and Walt.

"What's your hurry, Hurley?" Locke asked.

"Everyone is getting together on the beach," Hurley said, tired of running and explaining. Locke nodded.

"Yes. It's important to have a sense of togetherness, to keep ties in a situation like this."

"Yeah, right, so you'll be there?"

"Sure," Locke said.

"I don't want to go, it sounds dumb," Walt groaned, sitting on the ground, scratching Vincent behind the ears.

"Walter, when one is in a closed environment, keeping connections, physical and emotional, is vital to survival. You can't impede upon the natural order," Locke said, sitting down next to him.

"Whatever. I'll go if you'll stop talking like that," Walt sighed.

"Fair enough," Locke said, standing. Walt followed him towards the beach, Vincent at his side.

"Ok, so who's…" Hurley said to himself, making his way slowly to the beach, trying to think of who he hadn't gotten yet.

"Oh hey man!" he said, spotting Sayid.

"Yes, what is it?" he asked.

"We're having a thing, down at the beach."

"A thing? What kind of thing?"

"Aw man, just go!" Hurley said, frustrated, continuing to walk. When he arrived at the beach, he saw that Michael was there, having spotted Walt and Locke on their way down. He appeared to be giving Walt a lecture on sticking around, and he was, as usual, less than rapt with attention. As he looked around, he saw Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Boone, Shannon, Locke, Walt, Sayid, and Michael. Walking a little further up the beach, he saw Charlie and Claire. Charlie had taken a large sheet of metal from the plane wreckage, and rested it on some seat cushions, making it resemble a small stage. Rows of logs had been placed in front of it, as nice little benches. Charlie was just rolling up the last log, while Claire sat on the stage, smiling.

"Woah, dude, this is awesome," Hurley said, looking at the pseudo-auditorium laid out before him.

"I don't like sitting still," Charlie said simply, smiling and shrugging.

"So are you going to tell us what this is about?" Sawyer asked, approaching the stage.

"Is everyone here?" Hurley asked.

"More or less," Kate said, looking around.

"Those Japanese people aren't," Sawyer noticed, following Kate's eye-line.

"Sun and Jin," Kate said, annoyed at Sawyer's ignorance. "They're Korean."

"Whatever, they aren't here."

"They keep mostly to themselves, I think," Boone said, taking a seat on one of the logs. Shannon sat next to him, and Sayid next to her.

"Ok, well I guess we can get started," Hurley said, getting onto the stage, and motioning for everyone to take a seat.

"Good evening, and welcome too the first annual "Talent Show of the Marooned," Hurley announced to the small crowd on their log-seats.

"Talent show?" Sawyer scoffed. Kate, who was seated in-between him and Jack, elbowed him in the ribs.

"If all of you guys are thinking what I'm thinking, you're all bored out of your minds. So how about we entertain ourselves for like, an hour or whatever. I mean, come on, some of you have to be able to do something. So…who's first? Charlie?"

"Alright." Charlie got up onto the stage as Hurley got off. As he was about to step down, Hurley paused.

"Oh, yeah. Charlie on bass and vocals, playing…um…whatever the hell he wants."

"Right, um…right. This song is dedicated to Claire and her lil'one, my…my best cast-away friends yet." Claire, sitting in the first row with Hurley, an empty seat next to her where Charlie had been, smiled.

"Ehem," Charlie cleared his throat, and began strumming his bass. "Cry, baby cry. Make your mother sigh. She's old enough to know better." Claire smiled, recognizing the song. Big Beatles fan, she was.

"The king of Marigold was in the kitchen cooking breakfast for the queen. The queen was in the parlor, playing piano for the children of the king. Cry baby cry. Make your mother sigh. She's old enough to know better, so cry baby cry. The king was in the garden picking flowers for a friend who came to play. The queen was in the playroom painting pictures for the childrens holiday," Charlie sang. His voice rang out across the beach, the sun slowly setting. The slow rhythm of the guitar made everyone sleepy. The fire, the constant, never extinguished flame, illuminated the stage, and made everyone's skin delightfully toasty.

"Cry baby cry, make your mother sigh. She's old enough to know better, so cry baby cry. The duchess of Kircaldy always smiling and arriving late for tea. The duke was having problems with a message at the local bird and bee. Cry baby cry, make your mother sigh. She's old enough to know better, so cry baby cry. At twelve o'clock a meeting round the table for a séance in the dark. With voices out of nowhere put on specially by the children for a lark. Cry baby cry, make your mother sigh. She's old enough to know better, so cry baby cry cry cry cry baby, make your mother sigh. She's old enough to know better, cry baby cry. Cry cry cry, make your mother sigh, she's old enough to know better. So cry baby cry…"

Everyone slowly came out of their stupor as Charlie stopped playing, and began clapping, Claire making the most noise. She whistled and hooted, the most enormous smile stretched across her beautiful face. Charlie walked off the stage, sitting down next to her, where she planted a large kiss on his cheek. He blushed furiously, but soon had a smile to match Claire's. Hurley stepped back onto the stage.

"Alright, that was great, dude. So next we have…um…"

"Me!" Walt said, jumping off his log in the back row, making Michael and Locke, who were sitting on either side of him, jump. "Come on, boy," he said, walking on stage with Vincent.

"Right on. So next we have little-dude Walt," Hurley began, and when Vincent followed Walt on stage, he continued- "and…his dog." Scattered applause could be heard throughout the logs, along with a few encouraging smiles.

Not wasting any time, Walt turned to Vincent. "Vincent, sit." The yellow lab obediently plopped his bum onto the stage. "Good boy. Paw." True to form, the pup placed his paw into Walt's outstretched hand. "Roll over." At this, Vincent cocked his head to the side, a short whine of confusion coming out of his mouth. "Roll over, come on boy!" Walt said, to which Vincent put his paw out. "No, not paw. Roll over!" Walt got down on the floor of the stage, and began to roll around, trying to show the dog what to do. Vincent stayed put, watching Walt, and beginning to pant the pant of a subtly laughing dog. Some of the audience members had good-natured smiles on, while some of the more rudely angst-y members (namely Sawyer and Shannon) were rolling their eyes and softly muttering random negative statements. Finally, Vincent got down on the floor of the stage, and scooted along the stage on his back. Walt popped up, smiling.

"Good boy!" The two walked off the stage, the audience clapping, half sincerely, the other half simply glad the spectacle was over.

"Alright enough of this," Sawyer mumbled, standing as Walt returned to his seat. Hurley got onto the stage.

"And it looks like our next contestant is Sawyer, who will be…"

"That's Psychic Sawyer," Sawyer said, joining Hurley.

"Right, Psychic Sawyer. Take it away, dude."

Sawyer sat on the edge of the stage, rubbing his hands together. "So, anyone up for a free reading? One time only offer," he said, smiling. No one volunteered. "Well shoot I might just have to pick one of you."

"Alright, Sawyer, let's have it."

"Well Freckles! I'd be much obliged." Sawyer beckoned Kate forward with a curl of his pointer finger. She walked up to the stage, standing on the ground in front of Sawyer. Turning her around so she was facing the audience, he began rubbing her head and humming, occasionally making a random exclamation.

"Mmmmm…oh my! Mmmmm…Freckles, I never knew…Mmmmmm, no!"

"What?!" Kate demanded, looking back at him nervously.

"You little devil, you like it on top!" Sawyer said smugly, crossing his arms on his chest. Kate smacked Sawyer somewhat playfully on his arm, and rolling her eyes sat back down.

"The almighty Psychic Sawyer sees all, don't fight it, babe," Sawyer said, as if to say he couldn't help it. "So who's next?"

"Oh, Charlie, you go," Claire whispered.

"This guy's full of bullocks," Charlie whispered, but not quietly enough.

"Well well, how about you, Mr. One Hit Wonder," Sawyer said from his seat on the stage. Charlie sighed and walked up to him. Sawyer went to grab his head, Charlie dodging his hands.

"Don't-touch me, alright?"

"It's the only way to get an accurate reading, Diva. Besides, you're kinda cute."

"I'm no pouf, savvy?"

"Don't flatter yourself, you aren't my type," Sawyer said, taking a hold of Charlie's head and beginning to deeply massage his scalp.

"So let's see what's in the little Brit's brain…mmmmm, oh no…mmmm, pity…shame shame!"

"Out with it then," Charlie groaned, but not without adding "bloody Yank" under his breath.

"You haven't gotten any in weeks! Well shoot, if you're into submission I know just the girl for you."

"What?!" Charlie demanded, turning around to face Sawyer.

"And if I'm not mistaken, you've been strumming more than that bass of yours since we crashed on this God forsaken hunk of land." Claire couldn't keep her laughter in any longer, and let one shrill guffaw escape through her lips. Charlie looked at her, shocked.

"I'm sorry Charlie, but it's funny," she said, giggling.

"Oh and one more thing…this might interest you in particular, Claire, your boyfriend here has a bit of trouble…keeping it up, if you know what I mean," Sawyer concluded.

"That's a bloody lie!" Charlie shouted, preparing to take a swing at Sawyer. Sawyer was too quick, however, and moved, causing Charlie to strike the hard metal stage. "Aw, aw, aw no, ah," he moaned, cradling his fist with his other hand, Claire rushing to nurse him. "No, sit, Claire," Charlie said, walking back to his seat with Claire and putting a hand on her swollen belly. He sat down, Claire trying to bandage his fist with a strip ripped from the bottom of her shirt, him trying to bandage his wounded pride.

"That isn't true you know. I'm not a wanker. And I certainly don't have trouble keeping…that is to say…eh, yes. And about me not getting any…I get plenty! I mean, not plenty, not like all the time, I just mean that…"

"Charlie, it's ok, he was just joking around," Claire said, a small sad smile playing across her face.

"Yes, really witty," Charlie grimaced, wincing as Claire urged him to extend his fingers.

"So, anyone else care to take a spin?" Sawyer asked. "How about you, Doc?"

"No thanks," Jack said, not daring to even think what Sawyer would invent for him.

"Oh. Wait, I'm getting something now, it's very strong! You…you…you were on the chess team in high school, weren't you?"

Another note – I can carry on if anyone would like me to. Review and tell me so. (I wanna put Sun and Jin in here somewhere).

D

Thanks so much


	2. Chapter 2

AHHH sorry this took forever. I've been sick, along with pretty much everyone else in my family FOREVER. GAH! But now I'm feeling better, so here 'tis. And thanks to candyclouds for her idea about Claire singing that song!

Jack just blinked. Kate began to giggle.

"You were!" she cried shrilly, correctly reading the look on Jack's face.

"Sophomore year. My dad thought it would be a good idea," Jack said, blushing.

"Told you so," Sawyer said, crossing his arms on his chest and looking thoroughly pleased with himself. "Now, what else…you lost it to a hooker at fifteen?"

"Ok, ok, that's enough, I think," Sayid said, sensing a fight. There was always one brewing when Jack and Sawyer were around. One of them was bound to kill the other some day.

"Ooo, so Al Jazeera wants a go, too?"

"No, really," Sayid said, wishing now he hadn't interfered. Jack, remembering some previous altercations between Sawyer and Sayid all too well, decided to intervene.

"Get off the stage, Psychic Sawyer. Let me have a go," Jack said, walking up onto the stage. Reluctantly, Sawyer slumped off, returning to his seat. Hurley got up onto the stage with Jack.

"Alright, next we have Jack, who will be…" Hurley said, looking at Jack expectantly. Jack just smiled and shrugged. "K, so we have Jack performing a triple bypass on a guava!" Hurley said, not sure of what else to say.

Jack walked to the center of the stage, smiling and shaking his head. The things he'll do in the name of peace… With a sigh, Jack leaned over, put his two hands onto the stage, and proceeded to lift himself up into a stunning handstand. The whole audience looked surprised, all but Sawyer, who just rolled his eyes. Jack then got back on his feet, and walked to the edge of the stage. Getting a bit of a running start, he performed a stunning cartwheel. Getting back into the handstand, he walked laps around the stage on his hands. Everyone began clapping as Jack got off of the stage.

"I didn't know you could do that!" Kate said, looking impressed. Jack just blushed and smiled. Hurley climbed back up onto the stage.

"Dude, that was…wow. Right, so who's next?"

"Claire, you do something," Charlie whispered.

"What? I don't have any talents, Charlie. Besides, what an act to follow…"

"Come on, please? For me?" Charlie said, doing his best to look angelic and needy.

"Alright, alright!" she said, standing and walking up to the stage. Hurley saw her and smiled, grabbing her hand to help her up.

"I'd like to sing a song," Claire said quietly, cheeks already turning red. Hurley, sensing her nervousness, just nodded and got off of the stage. Claire sat cross-legged near the edge of the stage, allowing her long hair to cover her face. She softly began singing, voice a bit shaky. As her voice reverberated over the soft white sands to the crowds ears, she stroked her swollen belly.

"Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, never let it fade away. Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day." Claire paused, took a deep breath, and with a reassuring look from Charlie, continued.

"For love may come and tap you on the shoulder some starless night. Just in case you feel you want to hold her, you'll have a pocketful of starlight." Charlie began to slowly strum his bass while Claire's voice grew stronger.

"For when your troubles start multiplyin' and they just might, it's easy to forget them without tryin' with just a pocketful of starlight," Claire finished, standing hurriedly and rushing off the stage. Charlie followed her into a small clump of trees.

"Claire, what's the matter? That was beautiful," Charlie whispered, taking her into an embrace. Tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"I can't…can't have my baby on this island," she wept, holding her stomach and trying to disentangle herself from Charlie's arms.

"You…you mayn't have to, love. Who knows when someone might come?" Charlie said, trying to reassure her but unable to keep the doubt out of his voice. Claire only sobbed harder. "And…we've got Jack! He's a doctor, that's lucky, right?"

"You…you don't understand…if something goes wrong, there's nothing…"

"I'm here, Claire. I won't leave you, and I won't let anything happen to you. I'm going to protect you."

"I don't need you to protect me, Charlie!" Claire cried, turning her back to him. She took some deep breaths, then turned back around. "I'm sorry, Charlie. I appreciate everything you've done, really. But…this is something that…that I need to try to deal with on my own. I mean, aside from the birthing and all. But I'd like to just, be alone, for now, if I could." Charlie nodded, going back to the logs, leaving Claire feeling mightily guilty.

So next time I have to find some way to work Sun and Jin in here. Oh, and in case some of you didn't here…next time on Lost apparently someone, one of the major characters, is going to die. I have a terrible feeling that Sawyer is going to kill Jack. I know that most people think they'd never kill Jack, but the producers say it's someone we'd never expect. I sort of think Kate would be the only justifiable death. But I dunno…if it's Charlie I think I'll die.


End file.
